Anxiety has been a close
friend fiend for many years.
Like that nagging, hacking cough when you just had a c-section.
No regard whatsoever for your life or circumstance.
Here's what I learned about why anxiety pitches up like that:
Memory of past events are stored in the limbic system of the brain.
Our minds create a belief and attach it to the emotional memory.
Then it gets stored in our cellular memory, and from there, responses become automatic. For example the response my body gives is not being able to breathe when I am anxious – That’s my default, as if I am in a life or death situation and all the situation was, was that I had run out of cheese for the kid's sandwiches. Hardly life threatening, but if you ever heard my toddler moan, you may also default to breathlessness or spontaneous ovary shrinkage.
I'm joking of course.
I have been told for years that I had been having panic attacks, but in truth I didn’t want to own that – It was embarrassing to not have control over myself.
And not just not being able to control myself, not being able to control my BRAIN.
I was most certainly seen as weak when I had panic attacks, and I FELT weak.
But I also felt extremely angry about it.
Like I had been wronged, and when that wrong was made right, I would have control over myself again.
One day, when we were out at my eldest son’s school social, the kids dressed like cops and robbers. Super cute!
My then 1 year old was walking around and a cute kid with his toy gun came up and held it to my baby’s head and fired it.
6 months prior, my Dad had shot himself in the head.
As soon as it happened my mouth went dry and my legs went weak. I KNEW it was a toy gun and that no one was in any danger. No harm was meant, yet....I was having the same physical response I did the night I was told about my Dad.
I asked the child not to aim a gun at anyone, as I felt the blood draining from my face, and swooped up my baby in time to crouch down near a tree with tears flowing down my face, hyperventilating.
A sweet friend had gotten a chair and grabbed me while I hyperventilated with my head between my knees.
It was a VERY busy event, and there were so many people that you could not put one arm out straight in front of you without touching someone.
It was HUMILIATING to have an episode like that. I knew then and there that this was not a choice to be this way – That I was being SUPER hard on myself (Again) and I knew I would NEVER choose to have that happen in public.
It was then that I knew I needed to get help.
I was not ok.
Not by a long shot, and there was nothing that I could do alone that was helping this crap-fest.
So I did a number of things that did NOT work, and then there were things brought into my life that DID work.
Boy was I relieved!
Here’s how we work… Feelings that are not acknowledged or dealt with, find an outlet – It can be emotional and it can be physical.
In my case, both.
If you choose to suppress or ignore the feelings, the problem seems to magnify each time the situation presents itself. That sounds like a recipe for disaster.
I didn’t WANT to deal with this trauma.
I had to Mom.
I needed to function, and I needed to just be ok.
I was a strong woman – I could get through this!
Except that it was stronger than me.
In that moment, I realized it.
The energy from the trauma we experience stays in your body.
You can’t wish that away – You need to raise and replace that energy.
So that’s what I have tried doing. I talk with friends, go for walks, and have tried exercise (that’s been super good for me!).
I need to choose who I talk to very carefully, as I need someone in those moments to be empathetic and introspective in order to help me.
Often though, we find ourselves speaking to friends who are too close to us, and mirror our emotions out of love for us.
They feel what we feel, and that is not our friend in those times.
I found coaching to be FAR more beneficial than therapy. And adding essential oils makes it infinitely more effective. Wow but those 2 changes knocked the ball out of the park for me!
The coaching helped by engaging with me and focusing on what caused the emotion, and then riding it for a short while, before helping to categorize and walk through it.
We use the essential oils to help stimulate the Amygdala (the area of your brain where memories are stored), and since it is only the sense of SMELL which can release a memory (Carolyn L. Mein), there is a release and understanding that comes FAR quicker than I had ever experienced. In ONE session. I no longer needed a minimum of 10 sessions to even get to the big stuff.
I am now in a position to help identify and manage my emotions far better, and therefore handle what comes my way in a more healthy way.
I have also learned to release certain things that were holding me back, and I am taking my life and power back.
I am now being certified in similar coaching techniques, and am so excited to share that with everyone who needs it!
I KNOW how it feels.
I KNOW how crippling it is.
If you want to take some of your power back.
If you want to stop feeling like you are at the mercy of your next trigger,
If you want to learn powerful and do-able coping mechanisms, mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
We can do this together.
There are ways!!